Taking care of yourself

I’ve talked about stress and will continue to mention it often.  The most important thing you can do while taking care of another is to take care of yourself first.  It is definitely not selfish. Remember the instructions about oxygen masks on an airplane?  If you are traveling with a child or someone that needs assistance put yours on first, then help the other person. Simply put, you need to be whole and rested so as to give to others.  If you collapse, you are not much help to anyone.

The most important person in the equation will be you.  If you are unsettled, so will those around you be unsettled.   You are the one that will need as much care as your parent and you are the only one who can give that to yourself.   That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for others to help.  That is part of what and how you give to yourself.  It all begins and ends within you.

STRESS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

There will be more than one tip on stress, because in essence that is the key to becoming the caregiver you would like to be.  However minimally you may be involved in the care of your parent at first, there will always be worry and concern.  As they are less able to care for themselves, these worries and concerns increase.  You may have the tendency to want to fix the problem. The problem is they are at the end of their lives and you can’t fix it.  You may know this logically, but logic is not part of your heart and in your heart, you want to fix the problem.  Therefore, you may keep on trying to fix it.

Your heart and your head are at war with this concept, and your body is in the middle and it begins to suffer.  Whether or not you have family support, it is important to find a group that is made up of other caregivers.  It’s called a support group.  It may be you will find one through your physician, home health group, or hospital.  If there are none around, start one.  You will not be the only person in your town, or even in your neighborhood who is going through this.

Sharing your frustrations, anger, and sadness with others that have the same or similar problems will be more help than you can realize.  There are frustrations, anger and sadness and keeping them to yourself only makes them toxic to your body. Stress is a disabler and you can’t function in that condition. A support group becomes a safe place where you can vent!  So, find one before you are over stressed.  If you are involved with a church, find someone to talk with there

At the very least, grab a friend and go out to lunch or take your parent out to lunch.  They are probably feeling your stress too and this may release a little of the tension, particularly around the holidays.